a juxtapositioning fate
find our mutual coordinate

moments of clarity are so rare
i better document this
at last the view is fierce
all that matters is

who is open chested
and who has coagulated
who can share
and who has shut down the chances

show me emotional respect
i have emotional needs
i wish to synchronize our feelings

what is it that i have
that makes me feel your pain
like milking a stone
to get you to say it

who is open
and who has shut up
and if one feels closed
how does one stay open

we have emotional needs
i wish to synchronize our feelings
oh show some emotional respect

a juxtapositioning fate
find our mutual coordinate

maybe he will come out of this
maybe he won’t
somehow i’m not too bothered
either way

maybe he will come out of this loving me
maybe he will come out of this
i smell declarations of solitude
maybe he will come out of this

vietnam vet comes after the war
lands in my house
this wild lion
doesn’t fit in this chair

maybe he will come out of this loving me
maybe he won’t
i’m not taming no animal
maybe he will come out of this

once it was simple
one feeling at a time
it reached it’s peak then transformed
these abstract complex feelings
i just don’t know
how to handle them
should i throw oil
on one of these wounds
but which one
the joy peak
humour peak
frustration peak
anything peak
for clarity

maybe he will come out of this loving me
maybe he won’t
i’m not taming no animal
maybe he will come out of this

maybe he will come out of this
maybe he won’t
somehow i’m not too bothered
either way

somehow i’m not too bothered
either way
i refuse it’s sign of maturity
to be stuck in complexity

i demand clarity
either way

maybe he will come out of this
or he will feel solitaire
somehow i’m not too bothered
i’d just like to know

i wake you up
in the middle of the night
to express my love for you
stroke your skin and feel you
naked i can feel all of you
at the same moment

i wake you up
in the night feeling
this is our last time together
therefore sensing all the moments
we’ve been together
being here at the same time
every single touch
we ever touch each other
every single fuck
we had together
is in a wondrous time lapse
with us here at this moment
the history of touches
every single archive
compressed into a second
all with us here as I wake you up

our love was my womb
but our bond has broken
my shield is gone
my protection is taken
i am one wound
my pulsating body
suffering being

my heart is enormous lake
black with potion
i am blind
drowning in this ocean

my soul torn apart
my spirit is broken
into the fabric of all
he is woven
you fear my limitless emotions
i am bored of your apocalyptic obsessions
did i love you too much
devotion bent me broken
so i rebelled
destroyed the icon

i did it for love
i honored my feelings
you betrayed your own heart
corrupted that organ

family was always our sacred mutual mission
which you abandoned

you have nothing to give
your heart is hollow
i’m drowned in sorrows
no hope in sight of ever recover
eternal pain and horrors

i am a glowing shiny rocket
returning home
as i enter the atmosphere
i burn off layer by layer

is there a place
where i can pay respects
for the death of my family
show some respect
between the three of us
there is the mother and the child
then there is the father and the child
but no man and a woman
no triangle of love

so where do i go
to make an offering
i fall on my knees
lay my flowers
burn incense
light the candles

so where do i go
to make an offering
to mourn our miraculous
triangle
father mother child
father mother child

how will i sing us
out of this sorrow
built a safe bridge
for the child
out of this danger
danger

i raise a monument of love
there is a swarm of sound
around our heads
and we can hear it
and we can get healed by it
it will relieve us from the pain
it will make us a part of
this universe of solutions
this place of solutions
this location of solutions

once you fell out of love
our love couldn’t carry you
and i didn’t even notice
for our love
kept me safe from death

you doubted the light
and the shelter it can give
for in love we are immortal
eternal and safe from death

if i regret us
i’m denying my soul to grow
don’t remove my pain
it is my chance to heal

we carry the same wound
but have different cures
similar injuries
but opposite remedies

after our love ended
your arms don’t carry me
without love i feel the abyss
understand your fear of death

i will not forget
this not get
will you not regret
having love let go

after our love ended
your spirit entered me
now we are the guardians
we’ll keep her safe from death

love will keep us safe from death

we are each others hemispheres

i am fine tuning my soul
to the universal wavelength
no one is a lover alone
i propose an atom dance

our hearts are coral reefs in low tide
love is the ocean we crave
restlessly turning around and around
i am dancing towards transformation

learning by love to open it up
let this ugly wound breathe
we fear unconditional heart space
healed by atom dance

when you feel the flow as primal love
enter the pain and dance with me
we are each others hemispheres

we aim at peeling off
dead layers of loveless love
no one is a lover alone
most hearts fear their own home
becoming themselves fully
it scares them off

when you feel the flow as primal love
enter the pain and dance with me

[antony] no one is a lover alone
most hearts fear their own home
you are my second hemisphere
the atoms are dancing

no one is a lover alone
most hearts fear their own home
you are my second hemisphere
the atoms are dancing

atoms are laughing at last

no one is a lover alone
most hearts fear their own home

my throat was stuffed
my mouth was sewn up
banned from making noise
i was not heard

all calmly

remove this hindrance
my throat feels stuck
i was not allowed
i was not heard

i was not heard
i was not heard
i was not heard

there is vocal sadness
i was separated
from what i can do
what i’m capable of

need to break up
vicious habits
do something
i haven’t done before

in vow of silence
explore the negative space
around your mouth
it implodes
black hole
with jaw fallen in
in fallen jaw
jaw fallen in
i am not hurt

this tunnel has enabled
thousands of sounds
i thank this trunk
noise pipe

i have followed a path
that took sacrifices
now i sacrifice this scar
can you cut it off

define her abyss
show it respect
then a celestial nest
will grow above

when i’m broken i am whole
and when i’m whole i’m broken

our mother’s philosophy
it feels like quicksand
and if she sinks
i’m going down with her

locate her black lake
the steam from this pit
will form a cloud
for her to love on

when she’s broken she is whole
and when she’s whole she’s broken

our mother’s philosophy
it feels like quicksand
and if she sinks
i’m going down with her

hackle this darkness
up to the light
we choreograph oxygen
embroiders the air

when we’re broken we are whole
and when we’re whole we’re broken

we are the siblings of the sun
lets step into this beam
every time you give up
you take away our future
and my continuity and my daughter’s

and her daughter
and her daughter
and her daughter

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